Sometimes I Think About Dying (2023)
Director: Rachel Lambert
Stars: Daisy Ridley, Dave Merheje, Parvesh Cheena, Marcia
DeBonis
Short Review, no spoilers
Delightfully offbeat piece with some of the perceptive irony
of Todd Solondz minus his searing cynicism. Quietly powerful, inspiring and
cathartic, the performances are understated and well-drawn including an
excellent demonstration of versatility from Daisy Ridley. Beautifully shot and
scored, it’s a bleakly heart-wrenching but also very funny portrait of average
desperation and loneliness.
Full Review (spoilers)
“Mediocrity never goes away – but neither, I hope, do
those who are willing
to challenge it.” – Miloš Forman*
The 1975 classic One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, directed
by Milos Forman, opens with a dreamy view of the mountains followed by shots of
psychiatric inpatients emerging slowly in to their average day. In one shot we
see a US flag, situating it in America but could it be anywhere? Czech New Wave
directors like Forman understood the potential to make statements about oppression
in society with stories about ordinary people filmed in melancholically
humorous ways. Fellow New Waver Ivan Passer describes making a list with Milos
Forman of ways to make films that could be released under Communist party rule,
one of which was to make comedies.** Sometimes I Think About Dying similarly opens
with delicate images of an early morning on sleepy streets as a deer
tentatively emerges from a garden and apples are seen rotting in a road drain. There’s
something about the wistful imagery here and throughout, along with an
ironically playful, haunting music score, that resonates with One Flew Over the
Cuckoo’s Nest. The latter was also made in Oregon with some scenes filmed in a
similarly coastal region of Depoe Bay less than a 3-hour drive from Astoria. Differently
however, Sometimes I Think About Dying is shot in a coolly muted light with the
sense of off-peak seaside towns in England, while the coastal scenes in One
Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest are grainy but more sunnily presented. Whereas in
one film the environment and climate reflect our hero’s bleak state of
mind, in the other it is one of many stages for optimistic rebellion led by the
iconic character of R.P. McMurphy, played with furiously infectious energy by Jack
Nicholson in one of his most outstanding performances.
In both films a European sensibility trickles through a
distinctly American setting – in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, it is via the
direction of Czech pioneer Forman. But in Sometimes I Think About Dying, the
humorous banality resonates with a traditionally wry English dreariness. Monotony
and petty grievances characterise the ‘events’ that take place in both
institutions: a psychiatric hospital and office workplace respectively. And in
both films, it takes the arrival of a newcomer to shake things up, although it’s
the receptivity of the currently institutionalised residents/workers that also
create actual change.
In Sometimes I Think About Dying, jolly retiree Carol –
known mostly from heroine Fran’s point of view by the back of her head – is
replaced by Robert, a sociable and easy-going guy who secretly confides to Fran
that he’s never really had a job before. Via email (naturally, even though they
are about a metre or so away from each other), Fran warns him to keep that to
himself, one of several hints at office politics that lurk behind the
apparently friendly unity of a workplace. Another is the phony camaraderie
during Robert’s introduction to the team when we realise that the manager is young,
doughnut loving Isobel in subtler but nevertheless classic David Brent character
mode with probably deluded visions of themselves as a ‘chilled-out’ boss. There
are two funny moments in this scene that signal how little any of them actually
know each other despite Isobel’s presentation of familiarity. The team are
momentarily embarrassed when colleague Garrett has to remind them that he’s a
vegetarian (a ‘fact’ that he later reveals was ironically faked for his own
amusement), and even more so when oddball Rich contradicts assumptions that he
loves fishing based on a photograph seen of him holding a big fish. The awkwardness
of these moments lay bare what it is to know people beyond basic signifiers,
the status quo being disturbed by unexpected ‘honesty’. Funnily enough, there
is a comparable moment in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - the same kind of fish
catching photo is noticed by McMurphy in the head psychiatrist’s office however,
McMurphy provocatively questions the validity of this photo from the get-go.
Indeed, McMurphy questions everything in front of him, even
as he is questionable himself. His being in the hospital in the first place is up
for scrutiny throughout, however, after seeing Nurse Ratched in action for a
while, he tells the evaluating shrinks in a review that Ratched ‘ain’t honest.’
They defend the long-standing, well respected matron of the ward but McMurphy
sees the passive aggression behind her apparent care and professionalism. There’s
no Nurse Ratched in Sometimes I Think About Dying but a less fascistic
dishonesty is shared by all, preventing people knowing each other better and
thus truly unifying as a result. The office workers are patronised as much as
the psychiatric patients are infantilised. And the benign mask of Isobel isn’t a
front for such devastating power as that held by Nurse Ratched however, the false
familiarity does obscure Fran’s utter alienation in a team that she has
apparently been a part of for some time.
Completely opposite to McMurphy - a rebel who immediately
explodes in to the story as a charismatically disruptive outsider - Fran clearly
engages in a well-established role by which she goes out of her way to sustain the
most limited presence possible. Similarly to McMurphy however, people around
our central character respond accordingly, with the patients in the asylum
stirred by this electric new presence while Fran’s co-workers can’t see to make
any effort in including the quiet young lady already in their midst. Those with
impatience for shyness may struggle to understand, but the conflicting agonies
in yearning to be acknowledged one moment and wishing to fade away in another
is made exquisitely visual with brilliant perception and empathy by Ridley. It
is both painful and endearingly funny, particularly when Fran literally squirms
away from Robert’s casual friendliness, made poignant by the fact that he’s unaware
of her non-status in the office so tries to get to know her like everybody else
– the pure non-judgementalism from a group newbie. This is also a significant
aspect of McMurphy’s arrival – not knowing the system, he treats the patients
like men and not just like a bunch of ‘nuts’. (In another way, Fran is like Chief
in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, in that she is virtually silent and
dismissively ignored until the gregarious newcomer arrives and affords her opportunity
for recognition).
It might seem strange to compare a 1970s mental institution
with a modern-day office workplace, but they are after all two such places
where disparate people are put together and from which weird group dynamics
evolve as a result. However, the soul-scraping of Nurse Ratched’s group therapy
creates a situation whereby all of the men are overbearingly aware of
each other’s various gripes, whereas the phoney façade of office camaraderie in
Sometimes I Think About Dying oppresses expression of any meaningful internal
issues at all. This is thrown in to a light outside of Fran’s experience when she
bumps in to jolly Carol sometime after her leaving the office. Sat in a coffee
shop, she confesses to Fran that her husband was taken ill before they could
take their much-anticipated retirement cruise leaving her alone and sad. She
speaks of ‘doing the right thing’, as in working hard her whole life and
waiting for her opportunity to relax and leisure with her husband, only to get
there and it be too late. Thus, even one who works hard and is socially engaged
in an acceptable way can end up with suffering and isolation. There is empathetic
comfort to be found in one who also knows pain and loneliness though, as Fran
listens quietly to a woman who no longer exists to the group she recently left
- in spite of the cake and good wishes.
Of the soundtrack to Sometimes I Think About Dying, creator Dabney
Morris says this:
"Early in the pre-production stage of the film,
[director] Rachel Lambert approached me with an idea that we treat Astoria, OR,
as though it had the same escapist allure as a Hawaiian getaway. This
ultimately took us down the seemingly endless rabbit hole of the
often-eye-rolled-at genres of exotica and lounge. Pulling inspiration
from Martin Denny, Les Baxter,
Arthur Lyman, Henry Mancini, and the dreary, dull Pacific Northwest coast,
we were able to imagine a score that was at once lush and enticing, yet dark
with a sort of romantic macabre." ***
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest features an equally haunting
music score that combines the easy listening mind fuzz from the asylum ward record
player with the plaintive, wayward and sometimes heart-wrenching notes of a
musical saw. There’s also irony in the track title ‘Bus to Paradise’ when
McMurphy hijacks the patient outing bus to take the men fishing, and even
Hawaiian influence in another track titled ‘Aloha Los Pescadores’ which I believe
translates as ‘Hello Fishermen’. The recurring theme of fishing suggests the
freedom of the sea contrasted with being caught and trapped – hook, line and
sinker. Carol’s big holiday and well-earned freedom is also linked to the sea,
only to be robbed of it and trapped when she thought she had earned her
release. The main musical theme in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest bears close
resemblance to easy listening classic ‘Please Release Me’, alluding to the thin
line between escapism and desperation.
Fran’s escapism stops at the sea, instead manifesting
itself in fantasies about dying either on a beach or in a forest. I was
reminded of a controversial character’s similarly nihilistic visions in Todd
Solondz’s Happiness. No one depicts irony – and of the darkest kind – much
better than Solondz, who similarly played out images of human death in the
normally soothing context of nature and relaxation in Happiness. The character
involved is far more provocative to audience identification however, Fran’s inward-leaning
preoccupation with death will still seem uncomfortably morbid to some. The
irony at play though is that it is sometimes the embrace of death that can more
profoundly bring a sense of life and living in to one’s existence. To Fran,
death is a potentially liberating feeling of escaping her life. Not that she
wants to die necessarily, as proven by the manner in which she seizes on her
opportunity to make a relationship with Robert (whether she knows what to do
with it once she has it or not). But, as Chief feels for McMurphy, to Fran,
dying appeals more than living life lifelessly. Even the game that she finds
herself engaging in at a party involves pretend murder, but again Fran finds it
to be a successful way to be imaginative and part of a social gathering. Of
course, when pretending to die is the challenge, no one is more spontaneously creative
than Fran, showing that even being good at imagining death can be a positive.
Her fellow partygoers are surprised and delighted and Fran feels the enjoyment
of human interaction.
At the end, Fran finally breaks down her personal boundaries
and also the modern societal rule of confessing face to face rather than
through some sort of platform. When she tells Robert that sometimes she thinks
about dying, he pauses and then, non-judgementally, without saying a word, hugs
her, and then we see the forest floor from Fran’s death fantasy appear around
them – now Fran is feeling through the understanding from another person rather
than through the release of death.
The tragedy in Sometimes I Think About Dying trickles gently
throughout but ultimately ends life-affirmingly, whereas One Flew Over the
Cuckoo’s Nest ends in tragedy after a spirited challenge to the misery
of accepted routine and the endurance of societally ordained micro aggressions.
Both explore the importance of taking risks - McMurphy’s actions are always
inspiringly informed by throwing caution to the wind while Fran’s are by
cautiously containing herself entirely - until that is, she seizes her opportunity
to break down her own asylum walls. The arrival of Robert is that opportunity,
but Fran has to make it happen before he maybe joins the rest of her colleagues
in barely acknowledging her existence. In the world of One Flew Over the
Cuckoo’s Nest, an inspirational leader is crucial to positive disruption, and
that disruption has clearer, wider societal implications. In Sometimes I Think
About Dying, there are no inspirational leaders and, in a world increasingly
focused on the individual, Fran’s microcosmic problem is one she has to take on
herself.
Through alternative voices, we see that oppression can be present
in any society at any time, but also that there is hope where it can be broken
down, even in the most subtle ways. McMurphy is appalled when he finds out that
most of the inpatients are voluntary, that individuals may choose to
escape in to a prison because they can’t cope with what an apparently free
society demands. In Sometimes I Think About Dying, Fran retreats in to herself
and in to fantasy, while others are only loosely connected by the convenience
of working together. Seemingly forever alienated until Robert arrives, Fran
exists on the fringes of society. It might not seem like a world-beater, but if
resistance to an assigned role begins with the individual, then this is perhaps
one place to start.
*https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/notable-deaths-in-2018/100/
** The filmmaker said, “I believe that the Party was worried
when they saw ordinary people, with all their weaknesses and strengths,
depicted on screen. I think they also preferred to be attacked directly rather
than to be ignored completely.”
https://www.filmcomment.com/blog/still-free-interview-ivan-passer/#:~:text=Before%20the%20clampdown%2C%20Milos%20and,were%20more%20tolerant%20with%20comedies.
***https://cinemacy.com/exclusive-dabney-morris-debuts-track-from-sometimes-i-think-about-dying/
